You know it when it comes to visit because it’s not like the others.
You know it because at first it makes you feel crazy. It makes you question everything.
What is going on here? Why do I feel this way?
You’re all like, what the fuck do you want now? From me? Again?
I think you’ve worn out your welcome.
Nope, it says. That’s not how this works, little lady. You know this.
I come when I want. I come uninvited. I come as a reminder.
Of what, I say?
Of love. Of pain. Of compassion. Of struggle. Of depression. Of surrendering. Of not being in control. Of being human. Of your heart. Of what it means to be alive.
I come as a visitor to remind you to slow down. To re-focus on yourself and what fills you up.
The reason my presence is so large is so that you can’t ignore me, nor what I have to tell you.
I love you. I am part of you, forever.
Together we shape you and remind you of where you’ve been and where you are. We don’t know yet where you’re going though. We can’t know that. We figure that out together. One day at a time. You have to trust what you can’t see or know.
Fuck you, I say. I’m over you.
But I cannot ignore you.
Because you will not let me.
I have no choice but to listen to you.
To hear what you have to say.
Again, I surrender.