Tag: death

It’s all (eventually) okay.

These days when I talk to others about my past experiences with GR’s cancer and death and loss and widowhood and anything and everything that has transpired in my life since February 21, 2016, I sometimes feel as if I am talking about someone else’s life. It feels kind of strange because I know it’s …

A (hopefully) new day

Dates can be a real measuring stick for me, and probably for most people who have grieved significant losses. Three years ago this month GR died. I feel like I have lived three lifetimes in these past three years. That’s a positive or a negative depending on your perspective. Since my intention was always and …

Peace

In Merriam-Webster’s dictionary there are several definitions for “peace.” One is: “freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions.” The peace I feel lately in my heart and in my mind is new and foreign. I’m trying to accept it rather than study it. But I can’t help but study it a little. It’s how …

Permission to be everything, including happy

Lately when I’ve been out and about in the world and run into people that I know they ask me how I am and when I say, “Great! I’m really good, thank you. How are you?” sometimes I sense that my reply takes them off guard. I have noticed that there’s sometimes a lingering pause …

New eyes, new landscapes, new freedom

Two years and eight-plus months out from GR’s death. Thirty-one years and six months out from my dad’s. Where does that put me today? Well, for one, I’m ready to move forward from being Brooke, the daughter of a man who died when she was 10 years old and also, Brooke, the wife of a …

A voice with a message for a lifetime

I haven’t known how to write about this new season of my life, but I think about it a lot. I wouldn’t say it was necessarily easy to write about all my deep grief, pain and suffering; it was more like I had no choice in the matter. It was coming out my pores. I …

Dear Day-One-Widowed Me

I follow a few widow-related accounts on social media. The other day one of them posted a question to its followers. It said: “If you could go back and talk to your past self on day one of being widowed, what would you say?” What a good question, I thought, and kept thinking about it …

The gift of truly being heard

It was 4:30am on February 21, 2016 and I was showering upstairs while GR lay on his deathbed in our dining room. A hospice nurse had come to our home a few hours prior–around midnight–because GR appeared very restless, agitated and in pain. We thought his pain medication dosage needed to be increased. We were …