Tag: light

A (hopefully) new day

Dates can be a real measuring stick for me, and probably for most people who have grieved significant losses. Three years ago this month GR died. I feel like I have lived three lifetimes in these past three years. That’s a positive or a negative depending on your perspective. Since my intention was always and …

New eyes, new landscapes, new freedom

Two years and eight-plus months out from GR’s death. Thirty-one years and six months out from my dad’s. Where does that put me today? Well, for one, I’m ready to move forward from being Brooke, the daughter of a man who died when she was 10 years old and also, Brooke, the wife of a …

The love I have is the love I give

Grief, my perpetual teacher, morphs and changes the longer we are acquainted. These days it’s teaching me about balance. About honoring the past, but living in the present. About having versus losing. About not letting an irrational yet understandable fear of more loss break both of my legs. You see, losing my dad at 10 years …

A voice with a message for a lifetime

I haven’t known how to write about this new season of my life, but I think about it a lot. I wouldn’t say it was necessarily easy to write about all my deep grief, pain and suffering; it was more like I had no choice in the matter. It was coming out my pores. I …

For every season there’s a reason

It’s been three months since I wrote a post here. There are reasons for it. I haven’t known what or how to write about this new phase of grief and life that I’ve entered. I’ve been relishing BEING and not over-contemplating. I worked so hard at healing for so long after GR’s death that something …

The flip side of love

You never know when the tears are going to surface. There is usually no warning. Two days ago I boarded a plane from Taipei to Bangkok. There was no Wi-Fi and I’d finished my book. So I put in my earbuds, leaned my chair back and pressed ‘play’ on a playlist I’d downloaded on Spotify. …

We are never alone.

A couple of months ago I sat on the couch and told her that I’d never felt so intensely alone in my life. For weeks in a row I’d felt like I was made of cement. I’d been so tired. I felt depressed, like I was carrying around a backpack full of bricks most days. …

The gift of truly being heard

It was 4:30am on February 21, 2016 and I was showering upstairs while GR lay on his deathbed in our dining room. A hospice nurse had come to our home a few hours prior–around midnight–because GR appeared very restless, agitated and in pain. We thought his pain medication dosage needed to be increased. We were …

Grounded in light even in the dark

I have seen dark things, but I am not darkness. I lie propped up on the bolster on my yoga mat so that my head is above my heart. My shoulders are back, my chest is expanded, my heart is open. “On your inhale, visualize white light filling your spine from the crown of your …